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It’s no secret that IT headhunters prize IT consultants with sparkling resumes and who never cause conflicts in their teams.  However, there’s just no way that most IT professionals will complete all IT jobs without a single conflict- whether with IT managers or coworkers.  Below are a few ways IT contractors can handle conflicts well at work.

1. Start by framing things from the other person’s perspective.  Consider their values and priorities.  Using somebody else’s priorities to sell them on your own opinion will always be slightly more successful.  (Don’t close yourself off to the possibility that you may want to change your opinion, too!  Sometimes reframing things can force you to notice something your opponent was correct about.)

2. Make yourself vulnerable and pose the other person as expert.  If somebody’s idea is creating an issue for you, your team, or your work, try posing this problem to them—but as a special issue you find them uniquely qualified to fix.  Giving them the ego boost, placing yourself as vulnerable, and posing the issue as a question nearly eliminates the air of conflict.

3. Don’t use the word ‘but’ in your negotiations.  Use the word ‘and.’ It seems like a small thing, but when you say ‘and’ it tells the other person you’re taking their view into consideration too.  Saying ‘but’ tells them you oppose their view and are negating it.  You won’t get anywhere if the other person feels like you are completely negating what they say.